Earlier this week a mysterious object was left in a bus shelter in the middle of Hobart. There was a fair bit of scurrying around and excitement until eventually it was confirmed that it was all much ado about about nothing (after all, it is Shakespeare Week) and everyone went back to getting on with their lives. I was going to draw some sort of parallel with election campaigns, but you can probably do that for yourself. Only a week and a bit to go!
Alright, just one more gall bladder joke (except for the one in tomorrow’s Sunday Telegraph which is my favouritest gall bladder cartoon of all). I know, I know, but no jury that contained a majority of political cartoonists would convict me.
The most revealing election debate has been the debate over whether to have a second debate.
When Tony thought it was in his interests for our two prospective leaders to deliver their scripted statements to our great democracy from the same TV stage at the same time, he was all for it, and later when Julia decided it was in her interests, so was she.
Unsurprisingly, Tony’s self-interest and Julia’s self-interest failed to coincide, and whether or not it was in the interests of the country to have a second debate never entered the equation, which probably tells you everything you need to know.
It says a lot about this election campaign that the most interesting player so far has been Kevin Rudd’s gallbladder. Okay, it’s wrong to be doing jokes about people going to hospital, but come on, the metaphorical knifing, the sneaky leaker, a spray from Mr Angry Pancreas Mark Latham, then an operation to remove an organ that stores bile? There’s probably a cartoon or two in that.
You have to admire the way Julia has taken the logical next step from having policy entirely driven by focus groups to simply making setting up a focus group the actual policy. While I’m sure that 150 people picked randomly out of the phonebook will definitely be able to sort out climate change in no time, there is in fact a mechanism for gauging the will of the people which we like to call an “election” and it does seem a shame not to use it, considering all the trouble people go to putting up the voting booths.
At least we’re all quite clear that Tony definitely probably might or might not think god will sort climate change out anyway with one of those floods or something depending on the direction the wind’s blowing at the time.
Both sides so far: zero out of ten. Please try harder, some of this stuff is actually quite important.