The Resurrection

The Hobart Mercury, 14 September 2010

…and on the 81st day, Julia did visit Kevin’s tomb to anoint His body as Foreign Minister and Lo! the stone was already rolled back, and Kevin was packed and ready to go to the airport.

The Australian, 14 September 2010

The hossie trap

The Hobart Mercury, 4 September 2010

Honesty and integrity are great things in a politician until it’s your bloke knocking back a billion clam bribe to give the libs the nod after your electorate’s been written off/taken for granted for the past two decades.

But seriously, too much pork is bad for your health and while the Royal Hobart Hospital does need knocking down and starting again, there’s a pretty good chance that Tony was talking about a Barnaby Billion or someone would have nicked his wallet out of his sandshoe while he was going for a bodysurf, or Joe would have blown it on a hundred million takeaway pizzas while preparing the 2011 Budget or it would have gotten lost down the back of Andrew Robb’s couch and subsequently sucked into the black hole created by the implosion of Bob Katter’s head when it turned out that we weren’t really going to Turn Back The Bananas…. anyway, you get my drift.

Far better just to get a half-arsed commitment from the ALP that won’t be nearly as much of a letdown in the long run.

The 5 stages of minority government

The Hobart Mercury, 25 August 2010

Today it’s the turn of Steve Fielding (democracy’s strongest argument against minority government) to get a bit of attention by ranting cheerfully about blocking supply* on the grounds that the rural types in the big hats have had their go and he’d quite like his foot massage now. Let’s hope it all has a happy ending, so to speak.

I think the good burghers of Australia starting to see why secret back room deals are best done in the back room and in secret.

Come back, sleazy faceless men, all is forgiven.

*It has been pointed out that he might have missed his window as this year’s supply bills have already passed, but that’s a very family-unfriendly attitude.