The first thing in the hopper when the pulp mill starts

The Hobart Mercury, 12 March 2011

Ah, the good old days when Big Red promised us all a glorious closed loop, independently umpired, pulpy future. Now I think we can all agree that events have shown that Big Red was talking a load of, well, pulp. No promise too lavish, no guideline too strict, no rule too harsh, until they become inconvenient and were clearfelled forthwith. That was of course the Big Red Way.

No doubt Little Red will prove much the same. No native forests going into the mill? Sure, until it turns out that the numbers don’t add up at which point “native forest” simply becomes a plantation that hasn’t met a bulldozer yet. Bit of a stink about the place? That vindaloo you ate last night. Poisons pouring into Bass Strait? It was just a one-off and those fish were bound to die at some point and anyway it will cost a million dollars a day if we get shut down etc. But don’t worry, the poor bastard who reported the breach will be fired imediately.

Too big to fail. Until it does, of course, and then the lucky taxpayers get to bail it out.

Welcome back, Big Red.

A nod’s as good as a wink

The Hobart Mercury, 5 March 2011

Remember back in the day when Gunns’ pulp mill was going to be a wonderful closed loop environmental jewel that would under no circumstances go ahead until approved by the independent umpire? Yeah, bit of a vague memory isn’t it?

The attempts by the Gunns and their wholly owned subsidiary the Tasmanian ALP to bully, bluster and bullshit their stinking pulp mill past the proper planning processes have been as antisocial as it is possible to be. Sorry, licence denied.

Non-working families

The Hobart Mercury, 12 Febtober 2011

There’s a hole in the budget, dear Lara, dear Lara, and we all know what that means.

The first job to go was that of Airdy, the previous treasurer, who apparently wants to sit on a few corporate boards and help out in third world countries, which is the inevitable fate of any country in which Airdy is allowed to sit on corporate boards. Let’s hope he only sits on corporate boards in countries very far away.

The second job to go was David “Backflip” Bartlett’s, who rather fortunately for everyone is unlikely to be allowed to reverse his last decision as premier.

Not a bad start, really.