My theory on the monarchy in Australia is that everyone thinks that there are people who want Australia to be a monarchy, but in fact nobody actually does want Australia to be a monarchy. I base this on the premise that it is inconceivable that anyone could actually want Australia to be a monarchy. Eventually we’ll realise that it was all just a few people taking the piss, and immediately become a republic.
If people think that this is ruining all the monarchists’ fun, then bear in mind that I do not concede that any monarchists exist.
It is quite a poor theory I’ll admit (the bucket helps a bit) but if you don’t like it, feel free to stick your head in a bucket.