The Hobart Mercury 4 February 2012

While William Goldman’s book Adventures In The Screen Trade is about the movie business, most of it applies equally to politics, especially his central thesis “nobody knows anything” which all politicians, staffers, journos and cartoonists should get their iPhones to repeat to them on the hour.

The sequel Which Lie Did I Tell?: More Adventures In The Screen Trade is also worth a read.

PS “Nobody knows anything” probably doesn’t mean quite what you think it means unless you’ve read the book, and yes, Goldman also wrote The Princess Bride.

The Hobart Mercury 3 January 2012

Look, if you want a government handout in Tasmania, you start up a Chopping Down Native Forests For Woodchips Festival like everybody else. Sheesh. The cheek of it.

The Hobart Mercury 24 December 2011

Lara’s mad at Nick for not honouring the spirit of the Tasmanian Forests Intergovernmental Agreement and Nick’s mad at Lara for not honouring the spirit of the Tasmanian Forests Intergovernmental Agreement, which is probably just a big misunderstanding because  it seems pretty plain that not honouring the spirit of the Tasmanian Forests Intergovernmental Agreement is in fact the spirit of the Tasmanian Forests Intergovernmental Agreement.

Honestly, I’m pretty sure most people realised that before the whole thing started.

The Hobart Mercury 23 December 2011

Personally, I would have loved to see Julia and Tony negotiate over Christmas dinner. Would have made everybody else’s seem squabble-free by comparison.

The Hobart Mercury 17 December 2011

In the last few years it’s been Hot-Tub Paul, then Line-In-The-Sand Bartlett, then It-Was-Like-That-When-I-Got-Here Lara and now there are scurrilous and no doubt misinformed rumours that Hey-It’s-My-Go O’Byrne may be tossing his hat into the ring.

We really need to put the Lower House back to 35 seats just to make sure there are enough available premiers to go around.

If you do fancy your chances of becoming premier and are skulking around Parliament House with intent today, I’m selling my calendar at Salamanca. Come and get one and carefully mark the Ides Of March… otherwise, buy one here.

The Hobart Mercury, 6 November 2011

…of course the main source of despair is how much money he wasted buggering up the Tasmanian education system yet again, but let’s not quibble.

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The Hobart Mercury 3 December 2011

The Tasmanian government has sold the TOTE approximately 3 months before it was due to receive the report from a special parliamentary committee set up by the Tasmanian Government to investigate whether or not to sell the TOTE, which pretty much tells you everything you need to know about the Tasmanian government.

I fully concur with the premise that the Tasmanian government should not be running a betting agency, or, considering their track record, anything else. One hopes that if the parliamentary committee completes its work (and it would be a shame to waste all the effort they’ve already put in) they come up with the conclusion that it was a good idea.

The Hobart Mercury 29 November 2011

Tasmania has recently moved from having no hay in the barn to having even less hay in the barn than that.

Now while the government has promised that front-line public service jobs will be the last to go, what they actually mean by “front-line services” is V8 motorcars and AFL footballers, so best of luck to everybody. May the squeakiest wheel win.

The Hobart Mercury 5 November 2011

If you’re not from Hobart, this will mean nothing to you.

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